Mercedes-Benz ML63 AMG SUV: Not-So-Great Pretender

Mercedes-Benz ML63 AMG SUV: Not-So-Great Pretender
Prices as tested: $90,975

I don’t remember who coined the oxymoronic term “performance SUV,” but people keep buying them so manufacturers keep making them. The Porsche Cayenne is the only one that really gets it right, with the Acura MDX coming in at a surprising, though distant, second. Sorry BMW. Mercedes’ entry in the “let’s transform a compromised people mover into a compromised sports car” sweepstakes is the ML63 AMG – the skunk works version of the ubiquitous M Class SUV.

In violation of any economic standard of reasonableness, Mercedes wants $91,000 for this ride. True, the ML63 AMG features a 6.3 liter, 503 horsepower V8, a zero to 60 time of 4.8 seconds, and an electronically limited top speed of 155 mph. But what can you do with all this speed? In my experience, not much.

To give credit where it’s due, the ML63’s engine is a hand-tuned masterwork of seemingly limitless brute strength – as flawless as any V8 I’ve driven. Unfortunately, the vehicle’s suspension tuning is way too sensitive to highway pavement channels that can literally yank the ML63 into another lane unless you fight back. This level of responsiveness is fine for a lightweight, high-performance sports car, but entirely unnerving in a top-heavy, nearly 5,100 pound truck. By comparison, I’ve driven the Porsche Cayenne in excess of 100 mph on mixed road surfaces in Europe and in the U.S. with hardly a care. But pushing even 90 mph in the ML63 – even on pristine Interstate – left me shaken, not stirred.

Inside, the Germans could still learn a thing or three from the Japanese. Mercedes’ dashboard interface remains awkward – requiring several steps to execute what should be simple operations. Want to load some CDs? Plan on spending a few minutes in your driveway. An optimal seating position eluded me even after a week of trying. And while the ML63 comes with a handy backup camera, it’s only active when the audio or NAV system is on.

Should I mention that this $91,000 vehicle lacks a standard iPod interface? Okay, I won’t mention it.

On the outside, the ML63 benefits from the desperately-needed makeover of the entire M Class line. It’s lowered chassis, five-point wheels, aerodynamic ground effects, and quad exhaust announce to the initiated that the AMG is a beast. But if you really want to burn up some pavement – and you can afford to play in this league – check out the Cayenne Turbo or, heaven forbid, a real life sports car.